Author Archives: Alyssa Silva

“Please don’t feel sorry for me when I don’t feel sorry for myself.” These are the words I wish I could tattoo across my forehead anytime I’m out in public. OK, maybe that would be a little over the top. Perhaps I’d settle for a sign hanging from my…

Though I’ve had 20-something Spinraza (nusinersen) injections, my latest procedure proved most eye-opening for me. For almost seven years, I’ve gotten lumbar punctures to deliver this tiny but mighty medicine directly into my lower spine. After a handful of injections, I understood the drill. I knew what…

Although I often don’t like to admit it, I sometimes feel as though my identity has switched from person to patient overnight. The past few years have been hellish, with one health battle after another. It feels like I’ve been sidelined in my own life. But despite the…

Through my experience with SMA, I’ve come to understand the fragility of life. I’ve also come to understand the fragility of my wheelchair. I’ve been using a wheelchair for three decades and have learned how invaluable it is to my life and my independence. Though people often…

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing on the news. A tornado had touched down in my home state, Rhode Island, for the fourth time in six weeks. Before these, I’d heard of one or two tornadoes touching down in New England in my lifetime. Never were they close…

In the SMA community, we expect to grieve the loss of our abilities, given the nature of this disease. But for me, grief often feels like an ambush. In my three decades of life, I’ve lost many abilities. And every ability lost comes with its own grieving…

You wouldn’t know this just by looking at me or the pictures I post on Instagram, but I’m hiding something. I imagine myself and this secret I carry as though it were a light switch. When people are around or I’m out in public, I do my best…

Living with SMA, I too often don’t feel in control of my body. It’s an unsettling feeling to sit with. Some days, no matter how hard I try to take care of myself, my body has its own agenda. Lately, this feeling has been weighing heavily on…

When I was a little girl, there was a period when I frequented the orthopedic surgeon’s office. Back and forth we went, visit after visit, debating whether I should have surgery to put rods in my spine. Though my scoliosis was severe, my orthopedist hesitated at the…

My love for the beach has always been passionate yet complicated. Sure, it’s my happy place. The sound of ocean waves crashing into the shore, the peacefulness that envelops me when I reach the sand and feel that salty breeze, the way the sunshine hits during those early…