Author Archives: Alyssa Silva

In the SMA community, we expect to grieve the loss of our abilities, given the nature of this disease. But for me, grief often feels like an ambush. In my three decades of life, I’ve lost many abilities. And every ability lost comes with its own grieving…

You wouldn’t know this just by looking at me or the pictures I post on Instagram, but I’m hiding something. I imagine myself and this secret I carry as though it were a light switch. When people are around or I’m out in public, I do my best…

Living with SMA, I too often don’t feel in control of my body. It’s an unsettling feeling to sit with. Some days, no matter how hard I try to take care of myself, my body has its own agenda. Lately, this feeling has been weighing heavily on…

When I was a little girl, there was a period when I frequented the orthopedic surgeon’s office. Back and forth we went, visit after visit, debating whether I should have surgery to put rods in my spine. Though my scoliosis was severe, my orthopedist hesitated at the…

My love for the beach has always been passionate yet complicated. Sure, it’s my happy place. The sound of ocean waves crashing into the shore, the peacefulness that envelops me when I reach the sand and feel that salty breeze, the way the sunshine hits during those early…

When I travel, even if it’s just to a friend’s house, I carry with me a lot of stuff. Among it all is my most handy gadget and trusty companion: a voice amplifier, a small piece of equipment I found on Amazon for a reasonable price. The…

When I was in college, I had a professor doubt my abilities because I was disabled. I started struggling in their class early in the semester, so I went to their office for two reasons: to get extra help and prove I was determined (and doing what I could)…

From the moment I wake up to the time I go to sleep and get lost in my dreams, I’m fully dependent on others to help me meet my physical needs. If I have to change positions in the middle of the night, I call for someone to assist…

“This is probably my favorite part about having a feeding tube,” I said to my mom as a phlebotomist pierced my vein with a needle. Since becoming tube-fed, I’ve become more hydrated. And since becoming more hydrated, I no longer need to be poked and prodded every time I…

When I was a little girl, my parents would take my brother and me to Cape Cod, Massachusetts, for family vacations. Those memories have always been so dear to me. We’d pack the car full to the brim with bathing suits, beach toys, and, of course, all my…